Like literally touch their face. Whether wiping their eyes or resting hand on cheek / near mouth, after touching nasty casino chips. Bad habit imo, hopefully the more live sessions I put in the less I end up doing it. Have even thought of bringing purell and I'm not even a germ snob
Yes, it's my truck and No, I won't help you move and No, you can't buy it for 50 bucks!
This is long, so grab a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever keeps you happy and reading. I live in a senior housing community for people aged 55 and older. We all have identical 1-bedroom cottages that’s set up in groups of four or quads so that all of our front doors face inward toward each other. So, if I open my front door, I have a very clear view of the front doors of my 3 neighbors and because I am in the back of this quad, I also have a view of the parking area. I think the purpose of grouping the houses this way was to create a friendly and safe atmosphere; however, it’s just creepy in a “you have no privacy” kind of way. I am F57, disabled, and have a 16-year-old pickup truck that gets me where I need to go most of the time. If you’ve ever owned a pickup truck, you’ll understand my frustration. If you haven’t owned one, talk to anyone who has and they will tell you that according to friends, family, acquaintances, neighbors, and even complete strangers, you have it so that you can help them move, haul furniture or a tree they cut down, and anything else they can’t fit in the trunk of their car. AND because it is a pickup truck, it can be mistreated, abused, dented, scratched, beaten up, and treated like a piece of heavy construction equipment and you shouldn’t care because well. . . it’s a truck. I have a neighbor (F - about 65 years old) that has kind of made a pest of herself since the day I moved in. I’ve done my best to be neighborly, nice, and accommodating, but each time I interact with her, I’m left feeling used. The neighbor, let's call her Karen, has come over pretending to want to visit with me, which she does for about 2 minutes, and then asks me for something. In the 3 years that I’ve been here, she’s asked me to set up 2 TVs (at different times), take a new alarm clock out of its packaging and then teach her how to operate it. I’ve been asked to fill out her food stamp paperwork, fill out information for her lease renewal, read a piece of mail to her and explain it because she didn’t understand it, to take her places and to “loan” her money for the bus. That’s just a few. Now that you get the idea of what I’ve dealt with before, it’s time for the story. One Monday morning, Karen comes beating on my door (she does what I call a “cop knock” – loud, hard, and repeated) around 8 a.m., waking me up. (I am a night owl, by the way.) I go to the door and she is standing there holding her natural gas bill telling me how she needed a ride to the gas company's office to talk to them about paying the bill and hands me the bill. I look at it, hoping to find a phone number for her to call, but there isn't one, but I do see that her bill is for about $17. So, I take her across town with her providing the directions since I had never been to this building (the gas company did not have an office in town, so I guess this was maybe a payment center). I drop her at the front, park, and wait for her. Karen comes out saying that they can't help her there and asks me if she should just call them to make arrangements to make payments since she didn't have the money. I tell her that's what I would do and bring her back home. We basically made this trip for nothing. Two days later, there is another loud, repeated banging on my door waking me up just before 9 a.m. Karen is back and seems to be a little frantic. She needs a ride again. This time she's very vague about why she wants to go, but left me with the impression that something was going to get turned off, repossessed, or turned over to collections if she didn't go. She's also vague as to where she wants to go. She keeps tell me that it's down by the casino, across the street from the gas station. I told her I'd take her but she would have to point me in the right direction since I've never been to the casino. She gives me turn by turn directions until she has me turn left onto the entrance road for the casino. I'm looking around for any other businesses or even the gas station and I'm not seeing anything other than the casino in front of us and open land on either side. So, I ask her where am I supposed to be dropping her. Karen points to an upcoming sign and says, "See the sign that says 'Valet'? Just follow that sign." Yep, you guessed it, Karen had me drop her at the front entrance to the casino. She'd lied to me by omission. She didn't ask me to take her to the casino (which I would probably have done since it's none of my business how she spends her money), she asked me to take her to a business near the casino. Yeah, well, I wasn't happy. On Monday she couldn't afford to pay her $17 gas bill and on Wednesday she's going to the casino by tricking me into taking her. A week goes by and I am in the office paying my rent when Karen comes in. Karen: Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here today. Girl, I just walked all the way here. Me: Didn’t know you needed a ride. I can give you a ride back to the house if you would like. I wait while Karen pays her rent and we walk out together. Now, I’m expecting to get in my truck and drive the 4 blocks back to my house. Karen had another idea. Karen: Take me to Everything’s Cheap store. Me: Where? Karen: To Everything’s Cheap. Just turn here at the stop sign and I’ll show you. It’s not far. Me: Karen, I’m going to take you there, but I’m not shopping and I’m not going to sit in the parking lot and wait for you. You’ll have to get another ride home or walk. Karen: It’s fine. I won’t be long. I drop her at the front door and I go home. A couple of hours later, she bangs on my door. Karen: Where did my ride go? Me: Home. I told you that I wasn’t going to wait for you. Karen: I had all my stuff that I had to carry home. Now my back hurts. Me: I’m sorry, but I warned you. Karen walks away muttering things that I didn’t understand and slammed her door. Skip ahead several months and I run into Karen again as I am paying my rent. She wants me to give her a ride to the Social Security office. I tell her that I can't as my truck is not running right and I can't get too far from home in it until I get it check out and fixed. My truck started having issues and it's been difficult trying to get it fixed with lock-down, a back issue that left me bedridden for several weeks, and 2 major hurricanes this year (there’s nothing major wrong with the truck - just needs a new starter and gaskets to fix an oil leak that's caused the starter to go bad). Karen: But it's just a few blocks away and it's hot out here. Me: I can't trust my truck not to leave me stranded with no way to get it home. Karen: It will be fine. Me: Maybe, but I'm not willing to risk it. Karen slaps the side of my truck and continues on her walk and I go home in my truck. Another 3 days go by and more banging on my door and again I am awakened (it's 7:15 a.m.). This time I'm angry and I snatched the door open. Me: What? Karen (standing there with her purse and house keys in her hand as if she knows I'll say yes): I need to go to the mattress store. I need to pick up my new queen size mattress. Me: No. My truck still isn't running right. Karen: But I need your truck to haul the mattress home. Me: No. Karen: It's not a heavy mattress. Me: Oh, so who’s going to help you get it in and out of my truck and carry it into your house? Karen: The two of us can do it. Me: Karen, I have degenerative disk disease. The disks in my spine are disintegrating. I can't lift nor carry a mattress even with someone helping. Karen: But I already bought it. How am I going to get it home? Me: Call friends or family to help you. Karen: They don't have a truck and you do! Me: Yes, I have a truck, but there is no sign anywhere on it that says Free Moving Company. I close the door on her and go back to bed. An hour later, more knocking. This time, it's an older man. Man 1: Excuse me, but is that your truck? (He points at my truck in the parking lot.) Me: Yes. Man 1: I have an upright piano I need to move and was wondering if I could use your truck. Me: No. (I glance over at the neighbor's house and I see her peeking through a crack in her door - I have a sneaking suspicion she has put this guy up to this to see if I would help him.) Man 1: You can drive the truck. I just need to have the piano hauled to my storage unit. Me: How are you going to get an upright piano into the bed of my truck? Man 1: I'll just roll it up a ramp and into the back. Me: Do you know how much an upright piano weighs? One person can't push it up a ramp. If you use a ramp on my tailgate, you will break the tailgate and probably lose the piano in the process. My truck is large, but the rear end is not made for hauling a piano and will cause the front end to lift off the ground preventing my front wheel drive truck from gaining traction and straining my 16-year-old engine. Man 1: Well, could you call 4 or 5 of your male friends to help lift it into the back of the truck? Me: No! I close the door on this man, too. He didn’t come right out and say it, but I felt like he wanted to borrow my truck so he could go pick up the mattress for Karen. Yeah, I’m a little suspicious. The following morning . . . *sigh* . . . I ignore the knocking that occurs every half hour or so over a 3-hour period until she finally gives up. Later that afternoon, I open my door to get the mail out of my box when a second man approaches me out of nowhere. It’s like he was hiding around the corner waiting for me to come out of my house. Man 2 (points at my truck - it irritates me every time someone does this): Is that your truck? Me (feeling very annoyed and snarky): What gave it away? Is it because it's parked in a space clearly labeled with my house number? Or is it because someone told you who the truck belonged to? (I point at Karen's house.) Man 2: Does it run? Me: Listen, I don't know what you're wanting me pick up, deliver, move, haul, transport, or tow, but I am not a moving company, taxi, uber, delivery service, or a tow truck. I won't be doing any of those things and before you ask, I won't be allowing you or anyone else to drive my truck either. Now, do you have any other questions? Man 2: Uh, do you want to sell it? Me: What?! Why would I want to sell it? Man 2: Well, since it needs fixing, I thought maybe you would want to sell it to someone who could afford to fix it. Me: How do you know it needs fixing? Man 2 (turns bright red and can't take his eyes off ground): I just thought if you sold it, you could buy something else and I could fix the truck. Me: Tell Karen that I'm not selling you my truck so that you can fix it to give to her. Man 2: I wasn't going to give it to her. Me (pointing at his huge truck parked in Karen's designated space): You want me to believe that you would rather have my 16-year-old truck that needs repair than your brand-new truck? How stupid do you think I am? As the older man silently stares at the ground, Karen flings her door open and marches up to me. Karen: Just sell him your truck so he can fix it. You clearly aren't going to do it any time soon. At least I will put it to good use. I need it and I need it more than you apparently do. Now, he’s willing to get it fixed for me, so just sell him the damn truck already! Me: My truck is not for sale! When or if I get my truck fixed is absolutely none of your business. Karen: I’m going to call the office and tell them that you have a broken-down truck sitting in the parking lot that needs to be hauled to the junk yard. They’ll make you get rid of it or fix it. Man 2: Karen, they can’t do anything to her . . . Karen cuts him off. She’s so angry, she’s crying, shaking, and spitting as she screams Karen: SHUT UP! STAY OUT OF THIS. I WANT THAT TRUCK AND I’M GOING TO GET IT! I’LL CALL THE POLICE. THEY WILL MAKE HER GET RID OF IT. Man 2: Karen, the police aren’t . . . She cuts him off again. Karen: YES, THEY WILL. THEY'LL LISTEN TO ME. She storms off to call the police. In the meantime, I brought a chair outside along with a can of soda and a bowl of microwave popcorn. I figured this was going to be a good show. Karen and Man 2 have gone inside her house to wait. The neighbor to my left has come out to see what’s going on. Let’s call her Mary. Mary can’t stand Karen, so she drags a chair out and sits next to me and we share my popcorn. Enter Cop 1 and Cop 2 The cops arrive in about 5-6 minutes and walk up to Karen’s door and knock while glancing around at Mary and me and grinning. She answers and tells them that I have created an eyesore in the neighborhood by having an old beat up, broken-down truck sitting in the parking lot and she wants it removed immediately. Cop 1 (pointing at my truck - yep, he does it, too and I can't help but roll my eyes): That truck? Karen: Yes. Cop 1: That truck is clean, shiny, no dents, no scratches, new tires . . . are you sure that’s the eyesore? Karen: Yes. It’s 10 years old and broken and she doesn’t want to fix it. It’s just sitting there doing nothing for months. Me: It’s 16 years old. Cop 2 (spins around, surprised): Seriously? That truck is that old? Wow! It’s in great shape. You’ve taken good care of her. Me: Thank you. Karen: I want that truck gone! Cop 2 walks over to me to discuss my truck’s mechanical history. So, I explain to him that in the 16 years that I have owned her, I have changed her oil every 3-4 months, given her a bath once a month, got her a new set of tires 6 years ago, and when I first began having problems with her starting, I bought a new battery (the old one was the original battery from when I bought the truck off the showroom floor), and when the battery wasn’t the problem, I had a mechanic come and look at it. He determined that it was the starter and the gasket was leaking. All I was waiting on was my friend to come and help me start her (someone needs to get under the truck and tap the starter while someone else turns over the ignition) so that I can get it to the mechanic’s house for him to work on it. Karen: She’s lying. That truck hasn’t moved in 3 months. Me (offering popcorn to Cop 2 who took a handful): Wrong. It hasn’t moved in 4 days. It’s had problems for 3 or 4 months. Cop 1: Ms. Karen, there really isn’t anything the police department can do for you. Her truck definitely isn’t an eyesore nor is it sitting there in pieces creating a safety hazard. Karen: She’s driving down property values. Cop 1 (starts chuckling): Ms. Karen, you are renting a house in government subsidized senior housing. Cop 2: Why don’t you tell us the real reason why you want her truck removed. Mary (who has been silent until now - stands up and turns on her best diva soul-sister voice and attitude and gives the cops the greatest Deep-South Beautiful Black Woman sermon I’ve ever heard – I’ll try to write as best I can): Ohh, Lawd Jesus, help us all! Dis here woman of the night, want everything she can’t have, Lawd! I think it’s cuz she pulls her hair back so tight, Lawd, she can only see what’s in the back o’ her mind! Uh huh! She wants her Old Saggy Boy Toy of the Day here to buy my friend’s pick’em up truck, so she can go and pick’em up, Lawd, mm-hmm, if ya gittin' what I’m sayin’. He buy it and trade it to her for a little roll on her nasty sheets! Lawd Jesus, help us! And she think she all hot and sexy so you believe her and take away my friend’s truck. She a fool, uh huh. She think she can fool you, too, uh huh! How da hell do ya think she got those 2 big ass TVs in there? Mmm-hmm! Cop 1 is bent over laughing hysterically while Cop 2 is standing with his mouth open and his eyes wide. Cop 2 (turns to Man 2): Is any of that true? Man 2 (embarrassed, humiliated, and just looking tired): She wanted the truck and 50 bucks. Karen and Man 2 are arrested. Not sure what the exact charges were but I heard words being thrown around like pandering, solicitation, scamming, and false complaint among others. A couple of days later, Mary told me that Karen returned home. I guess she found a way to get bailed out. I haven’t seen her and I am hoping that I don’t. As for my “pick’em up truck”, I’m still waiting to get her to the mechanic. My friend will be here on his next day off (he doesn't get them often) to help me. It’s a good thing I’m a patient person with a super diva as a friend and neighbor. It's also good to know that my truck is at least worth one 20-minute roll on the sheets and 50 bucks. EDIT: Thanks for the awards everyone! And just a little side note for those of you rolling your eyes at the fact that I offered a cop popcorn and he took it - I live in the Deep South in a small-ish college town. The cops here are helpful, friendly (until provoked), and generally good guys. When construction workers stole from me after Hurricane Laura, two cops came to investigate and afterwards I offered them both a bottle of water and they accepted.
He works full time and is a pig. Won't lift a finger around the house. Leaves his literal garbage everywhere. If I bag up trash and set it outside, he'll walk around it and refuse to take it around the house to the cans on his many 20+ minute smoke breaks. Weekends are soul crushing because the house can be as nearly spotless as a house can be with a toddler and by Sunday it's completely trashed because I refuse to clean up after him and he refuses to grab a vacuum and suck up the food mess both HIM and the toddler left in the living room, kitchen, dining room, and even the bathroom sometimes. This man even refuses to wipe off his shit smears on the toilet bowl and regularly splatters shit up onto the underside of the seat. I haven't cleaned "his" toilet in months and there's a nasty brown ring in it cause he leaves his piss in there for days and only flushes if he shits but won't make sure it all went down so sometimes there's still shit floating in there. Unfortunately its the bathroom with the tub so I have to clean the tub for my kid and I to bathe. He had four days off for Christmas and again for New Years. God strike me dead if I'm lying that my socks were brown and crusted from the crumbs of food and mud he tracked in. There's a bench and a boot tray by the door. I watched him come in, step OVER the boot mat right in front of the door, walk through the living room, stop to scrape his boots on the living room rug his daughter lays on and plays on all day, and then trip down the hall to our room with light tan carpet. The mud stains on the rug are still there because I don't own a carpet cleaner and the rentals are out right now. I fully believe he does this om purpose as a way to blatantly disrespect me and tell me to go fuck myself. Over his four day Christmas vacation, he walked out the door and disappeared for 11 hours. When I asked him where he was, he told me he was two towns over (2 hours one way) with his mom shopping. He just walked out the door and decided for me that I wasn't going to get to enjoy any time for myself and that I was going to parent alone. He didn't even ask how our kid was doing. Over his four day New Years vacation, he pulled thr disappearing act TWICE. On New Years eve he decided he was going to go to the casino with his mom. Never mentioned this or asked how I felt about it. Just walked out the door and left the toddler with me. Never asked how she was doing. Came home at 3am. On New Years day, I woke him up at 8 am and he got mad because he had gotten in late. Not my problem. He then stormed around the house for a few hours until his mom called him to ask if he wanted lunch. He didn't talk about it with me. I overheard it (she was on speaker) and he just started getting dressed. When I asked where he was going with his mom, he said "No where." So he's lying. Okay. So I call her up and ask if she'd like to hang oit with her grand daughter and she says yes! Send her with him! (I told her I needed to get some work done without her up my ass). This pisses him off and he goes and sits in his car so that I am forced to get her ready and her bags packed with snacks and clothes and diapers and toys and I put her in the seat and kiss her goodbye. Not even 40 minutes later he bangs open the door and she's crying. He rants about how she was a BRAT the entire time and embarrassed him and blah blah blah. Shit I deal with daily because she's a toddler and that's what they do. He puts her down, dumps her bags down, and walks out the door. He's gone from 2pm to 1am. He just decided for me that he was going to force me to care for her instead of getting my work done because he didn't want to parent that day. So the next day, Saturday, I wake up before the two of them, set the monitor right next to him on full volume, and walk out the door. I got some work done, groomed my dog (takes an hour just to dry him after a bath and then I gave him a hair cut), sat in a parking lot with a hot lunch, browsed a Home Goods. I was gone 5 hours and I was dying to get back home. I never called to ask how she was and I desperately wanted to. I went back home to a fucking pig sty of a house. She was also filthy from feeding herself a messy lunch and not being cleaned up after. She was also over tired and sobbing when she saw me because of course he didn't put her down for a nap. How the hell am I supposed to enjoy being "off duty" and doing things I want to get done or just playing hooky from parenting? I thought about getting a hotel room just for me, but I'd be miserable sitting in a room all by myself constantly fighting the urge to video call to see her. And then I know I'd go home to even more work than would have happened if I had just stayed. How do I manage to act like a man who clearly wants to skip out on parenting every chance he can even just for one day/night???
Hello Reddit community. Fair warning, this is a very long one. I (33m) met my ex (34f) 16 years ago when I was in high school. Over the internet back in the day when people enjoyed Yahoo Games. We met over the chat in there lol. I am from around Brantford, Ontario, Canada. She was from around Pembroke, Ontario, Canada. I will not bother with going into the long details of our relationship but will say that it is obviously a very long history but it has always been pretty roller coaster like. I will also say that I have a whole host of my own mental issues, like Anger, control, jealousy etc probably stemming from a pretty rough childhood i have had (i am currently in counseling after many years of not doing it). We have 2 children. A 9 year old daughter and a 2 year old daughter. At the time of the beginning of this incident, we were not together and she was living with our daughters and her sister in an apartment about 5 minutes away from me. Around August of 2019, one of the two of them received a phonecall from their father and he revealed that he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The two of them and our daughters immediately drove up to Pembroke to spend a week with him. His wife (their stepmom) is a real estate agent in the area. When they returned, the two of them had decided that they wanted to move to Pembroke to help their father. When she told me this, as you would expect, I was not pleased. We got into some huge arguments. While I could understand wanting to help with their father, I was extremely upset about our children being taken away. I calmed down a bit eventually. During this time, they had been talking to their step mother and their step mother found out that renting apartments and renting houses is just as expensive, if not moreso than actually paying the mortgage on your own house. So now they get ideas about owning a house there. Found a house for like 108k. They decide to go to a bank to see about going together on a mortgage. Turns out the sister is so bad with her finances and debt she owes that they decline them. I feel like at this point I should add in that although we may not have been together at that point (and throughout various other points of our history), the love I have for her (and obviously our daughters) has always been very strong. The 3 of them mean the world to me. My ex eventually comes to me. Asks me to go in with her on this mortgage because she knows I have a stable career and good income (im a dealer at the casino here in Brantford for the last 11 years). So her sister is irrelevant in the matter as it would be just hers and my house. Obviously I was not pleased. I talked this over with a few friends and my mom (who is my rock). They thought it was an insane thing to allow. I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with this decision.
I do this and co sign a mortgage with her. I would be doing this to help her and her sister out and I mean....frankly it would make me feel good to help them be with their family in a sense. But this also means our children and her move 5.5 hours away from me.
I dont allow this and my ex resents me for the rest of my life and it makes any interactions we have in the future horrible and she also would probably financially make it much hard on me (going after more for child support, which at the time I believe I was paying 400 Canadian for our two girls).
I feel like I should also note that we have never been to court for anything. We have no custody agreement, they kind of just....live with her. When they were here in Brantford they were living with her and her sister and I would just come by and visit the three of them whenever I wanted or bring the girls to sleep at my place if I wanted. We've never had child support agreements either, beyond verbal. Anyways...I eventually went through the bank checking on me process and decided to sign for this. From MINUTE ONE when she first told me about all of this, she said to me over and over again that this is just temporary. This is what made it easier on me. Because I knew that we could just grin and bare the distance for about a year to a year and a third. Her father was given 1 year to live btw. So eventually they move on October 18th, 2019. From then until a few months ago I had been going up every other weekend from work to stay with the 3 of them. I went up with them at the beginning as I had a lot of paperwork to sign. I should note that we are BOTH co-owners of this property. 50% each. Same with the mortgage. BUT.....I have never invested a dime in this house. She borrowed a loan from her mother (my ex has never had much money at all) for the down payment of the house. She pays the mortgage and bills on the house. When they were living in Brantford, she worked as a sale associate at a Winners store. When they moved to Pembroke, it was actually a good transition for her as she basically just transferred to the Winners in Pembroke. She eventually got a promotion to a supervisor there making a bit more money. To which she eventually, in October 2020, quit her job. I told her multiple times before she did this that it was a very very bad idea. But she didn't care. Said she just wanted to spend more time with our girls and she didn't get to while working, which is a ridiculous thing to say, because what parent wouldn't want to spend more time with their children. We work to provide a life for them. Around January of 2020, her sister, who has always made rash decisions in her life....decided that she was going to move to Oshawa with some guys shes known for a few years (oshawa is like 4 hours away from Pembroke, 2 hours away from me in Brantford). By doing this....she kinda of double screwed my ex. One way, obviously, was that she was no longer going to be chipping in on bills. The other was that during this entire time that they lived in Pembroke, she didn't have a job (still doesn't, but irrelevant), so she was a free babysitter for my ex to watch over our children. This put my ex in a very uncomfortable position. The two of them really fought over this. When her sister moved out, various friends and family members would chip in a few hours here and there watching our girls, but nobody was consistent. Shes never had a reliable support system. This continued until about the beginning of July 2020. Her sister arrived back at the house in Pembroke one day and discovered that my ex had left our 9 year old to watch our 2 year old for 8 hours a day while she was at work. This had shockingly been going on for 2 weeks. My ex had told me that her father and stepmother would be watching our daughters while she worked, obviously lied to me. So her sister lost her mind when she got there, called Childrens Aid Society and reported it. Waited until my ex got back from work and they got into a huge blow up. The sister left back for Oshawa. My ex called me that same night and told me all of this. I immediately told her that I would come there tonight and take our girls back to my place to help out for an indefinite amount of time. I left at 1030 that night and drove through the night except for a power nap and got there at like 8am. My daughters and I left later that night to come back to Brantford. They stayed with me for a month and a half from the beginning of July to lateish August. We had an absolute blast together. During this time, my ex was in a very dark place. She was very depressed about me "taking our girls away", as insulting as that is. She was also dealing with health issues at the time which eventually required emergency gall bladder removal. She was sidelined from work for about 2 weeks, sleeping like 18 hours a day. During this time, she apparently decided that she wants a lot more tattoos. So she was talking to a girlfriend from work about this and her friend told her that she should get in contact with her cousin or something. A guy who would give her tattoos for free or at least very cheap. Obviously everyone knows that the words free and tattoos never go well together. So they started hanging out and she started paying this person in Tom Hortons and pizza slices for tattoos. For real. Obviously I havent huge divulged in my own mental issues, but if you knew me.....you would know this does not sit well with me. I started being very accusatory and jealous. Saying to her over and over "oh, this is your new bf then eh?" Constantly she would say over and over again, "OP, stop being such an idiot. Hes just a friend. We've met each other at very dark times in each other's lives and we enjoy our time together." Eventually I brought the girls back to Pembroke. School was going to be starting back for my 9 year old. She had found a day care for our 2 year old. Everything seemed like it was set in place. Now we are at about October 2020. This person is coming over to our house in Pembroke all the time or my ex and our girls are going there. I should mention that my 9 year old has said repeatedly that she does not feel comfortable around this person and finds him very weird. Says he's nice to her and her baby sister but he just doesn't seem to care much and he just makes her feel odd and he's weird and she doesn't care to be around him. So as this is going on....my jealousy back in Brantford is getting worse and worse. It got to the point that there was a night when this person made a supper for the 4 of them and I was talking to my daughter on the phone and she told me about this meal that they had and it was very very good. This didn't sit well with me. We finished our chat and I was texting my ex and told her something along the lines of "this is absolute bullshit. This is some husband and wife shit. I feel very uncomfortable with this person around our children." She basically said, again, that I was being ridiculous and that they are extremely good friends and this is what best friends do. I lost my temper and basically told her over text, "fuck this shit. Im done. I just....I dont want anything to do with any of this now. Enjoy your family of four." I should say obviously I dont actually want to revoke any sort of rights I was just jealous and angry and hurt. Let's fast forward a bit more. November of 2020. Now, they seem to be sleeping over there at this persons house pretty much every night. Which is super fucking weird as like I told you guys.....my daughter does not like this. She finds it very uncomfortable. At this point, due to covid among other factors....I really haven't seen them in about 2 months beyond video chat. I had started a new job but had a string of 5 days off in a row. Decided to make a bit of a rash judgement and drive up there to surprise my girls. But I wont lie, it was also because I was getting increasingly nervous. I arrive there on a Friday night at like 630 pm. I figured they were over there as there was no one at the house we owned (tbh probably a good thing as it avoids the confrontation). I asked my ex over text if she could come back to the house so I could hang out with the 3 of them. It didn't go well. She says "OP, are you insane??! We have not been on good terms lately, why would you think this would go well? I will bring the girls back but im not staying there." Than I just lost it. "This is absolutely ridiculous. I wanted to spend time with all of you." "I will not be staying there." "OK....well....I guess you had better just not come back then cuz I can tell you if you do....I will follow you to that house." "Omg are you insane? I'm calling the cops this is insane"blah blah. It never happened. We calmed down and I eventually stayed in the house for the night. She brought our girls over in the afternoon while she did grocery shopping but they already had plans to go out with her cousin to look at Christmas lights that night. I was invited to come but it would've been way too awkward. I just drove the 5.5 hours home. It just got worse from here when I got home. This is like beginning of December. The very next day her father passes. Soon afterwards, she announces to me that they are no longer going to be moving back. Im absolutely floored and beyond hurt. Huge fighting ensues. It gets very nasty with her saying terrible stuff like she will go for full custody, etc etc. I remind her that we had a deal to move back after her father passed and that she can't do this with our kids. She says she is not stopping me from seeing them. Willing to meet every weekend for me to have them. This is no life. This is no life to formulate a good relationship with our daughters. This is beyond cruel. She claims im the bad one as im trying to force our daughters out of the house they love and the school our 9 year old loves and the quiet neighborhood. So.....now its about mid December. I am getting them to stay with me from December 27th- January 9th (they are here now). Its probably about the 21st at this point and she decides to announce to me that they are a couple and have been for a month now. Obviously im crushed. Shes said so many times all she ever wanted was for us to work out. Wanted me and her forever. Wouldn't have ever happened if it wasn't for my poor behavior and all that. But shes happy now she says. Many many days of crying ensue. Rage and anger. Jealousy. Insane insane jealousy. Here comes the creeper parts. So. Over the last 2 or so months I've learned some details. Dude apparently has a child on the way with a woman but she moved 5 hours away from him when she first found out she's pregnant (probably should've been a red flag for my ex). Guy works in the military in Petawawa, a town nearby Pembroke. Big, big military town. Hes a chef or some such shit there. Now....im not condoning my next actions. My eldest daughter had made me wary of this person as well as obviously my jealousy. I started doing some social media digging. Found out who his ex is. Started a very awkward dialogue with her one day (around the 23rd or something). It blossomed into actual conversation for days on end. Turns out, according to her and some serious shit she showed me during our many, many conversations.....this guy is seriously trouble. Massive control issues (I know...pot meet kettle), manipulation and grooming. On multiple occasions this guy would hold knives to her and threaten if she ever left him that he'd fucking end her or himself. Many many times of beating her up both verbally and physically (I saw a bunch of pretty bad pictures). Use to choke her out against a wall until she passed out and then would proceed to have his way with her.....really messed up stuff. Heres the real kicker. Curious how these two met? Not sure exactly how they met....but how they ended up actually getting together and having a 4 year relationship is because.......they both came into the relationship positive for genital herpes. Genital friggin herpes. He cheated on her many, many times during their relationship (apparently grounds for firing from the military). During these times that he's cheated on her....he apparently infected multiple people with this STI. He was scared moreso when a few women tried to confront him over text or other social media claiming that they wanted to get in contact with him and would sue (apparently thats a thing, I didnt know), than when his girlfriend found out as he knew he could smooth over the fact he cheated on her because he had her groomed and scared. So obviously he has not told my ex this, even though his ex that I've been speaking with literally described where exactly they are in his house as shes been living there for 4 years (up until about may/June 2020). I confronted my ex about all of this stuff. She wasn't hearing any of it. Doesn't believe anything. Laughed me off. Says he's treated her nothing but good since theyfe been together. Said she won't put up with anything bad, not even once, but nothing has happened. Only thing that gave her any kind of pause was when I told her that literally less than a month ago he was texting his ex, asking her to "please come back, please come back to me. You are my everything. I want to spend the rest of my life with yiu" etc etc. So clearly this guy doesn't give a damn about my ex and she is just the current thing for him to pass his time with. So. I think we are just about at the end of the story. Not much else has happened since that as, like I mentioned much earlier, I've had our daughters with me since dec 27th, until Jan 8th (for now). Oh. Actually.....one thing. She continues to show incredibly poor parenting skills. During this time that they've been with me.....sometimes around the 29th....she has actually gotten him to move in with them at OUR house. This is so beyond messed up. One month dating and this happens. Our kids don't even like him. Like I said earlier, my 9 year old has said he's very weird and strange and makes her uncomfortable. But she claims she's doing this all in the best interest of them. She justifies this because this guy is now apparently renting out rooms to two people at his house while chipping in some bills at our house. So the dude is using her as a cheap place to crash (the mortgage on our house in Pembroke is literally like 330$ a month), while he profits off his house. I have thought of doing multiple (probably bad) things, but I feel like someone needs to stop this terrible person before he hurts people beyond just my ex. I have definitely thought of contacting the Petawawa Military Police and telling them about all the horrible things I know about this person and telling them to check his medical files (the military doctor issues this guy his herpes medication, Valtrex). Ive also thought about sending him a pretty serious message, though that will probably amount to nothing. I can provide what I've typed up already about it if someone wants those details. I will finish this off with the legal questions.
She is scared as she thinks I can force the sale of the house as a co owner. Can I? Would I have a chance?
Am I able to get them to move back? I realize thats a multi layered question. Having a verbal deal I also realize probably looks bad on me....but even if she denies that this deal ever happened....why on earth would I ever just randomly allow our children to be moved 6 hours away forever? No sane person would.
I want this monster away from our children. Is it unwise to try and work up the balls to talk to military police?
Its to the point that I dont even feel comfortable bringing our children back to meet up with her halfway on Jan 9th. Like I stated previously, we've never had any sort of custody arrangements. So, in my eyes, neither of us are more allowed to have the children than the other. What are my options here?
If yiu made it all the way here.....thank you for your time. I cant express enough gratitude. This has absolutely been the year from hell for me, even without covid. TL;DR- ex and I had an agreement to move back with our children. Shes backing out of this. What are the options. Do I have a case? New guy in the picture very much scares me and our children are seriously uncomfortable. Can I do anything? Co own a house together. 50/50 split. What can be done about this to force the sale and potentially get things going in my favour?
JNMIL got what was coming to her - hopefully inspirational
I don't agree that this can be shared elsewhere. This is my first post, so let me know if I've done it wrong. I don't remember exactly when this was. My triplets are now 19.5. They were mostly mobile at the time, but not very verbal, so maybe 3 years old, back in 2004. tl/dr below. MIL eagerly volunteered to fly out from another state to stay at our home with our maybe-3-year-old developmentally delayed preemie triplets so DH and I could go do something. This was the first time she had cared for them alone. They were her only grandchildren at the time, and her only other grandchild was born 10 years later. MIL mentioned that she would love to take them to Nasty Pizza Child Casino for their first time as an activity while we were gone. I explained how that would be a terrible idea because they were easily over-stimulated and that, without our support, she was gonna have a bad time. I told her specifically not to do that, and suggested the zoo or one of our many local parks or some other less loud and unfamiliar activity. She agreed not to take them there, but later I learned she had complained to DH that I was just jealous that she would get that experience instead of me. Believe me, I had no intention of taking them to the Child Casino for a long, long time. I was very aware of their limitations and of what happened when they were over-stimulated. I was trying to protect her. Anyhoo, we returned, and MIL went home, another state away, 550 miles or so. A couple of weeks later, one of the kids let it slip that MIL had taken them to Child Casino. I asked questions. DH confessed he knew. Turned out she did take them, they were there for a brief period of time, and then completely melted down and MIL had to beg help from staff to get them back into the triplet stroller to get them out to the van. They were up for hours after bedtime, and were very difficult to deal with that night and the next day. DH agreed with me when I told her not to take them, because he knew what would happen just as well as I did. He kept it secret to protect his mom from my wrath, and had already chewed her out and said "told you so." But, come on, man! I wasn't going to let it go. First I told DH that if he EVER kept things like that secret from me, his life would be very unhappy at home. He apologized, and has never done that again - 16 years! I told him that if she didn't apologize and agree to never go against our wishes, she would never be alone with our kids again. He agreed. He admitted to her that he had told me what happened and told her that she owed me an apology or she would never get to be with our kids alone again. A couple of weeks later, I received a card in the mail. It was a non-pology from MIL saying that she was sorry I was so upset about what she did. No acceptance of responsibility. No apology for violating my trust. I was a SAHM at the time, so I was able to just throw it away before DH saw it had arrived. DH asked me if I had received an apology, and I said that I had not. Another week later, I received a real apology that she was sorry she didn't listen to us and how it would never happen again. I immediately called her and thanked her for the card and expressed sympathy for her terrible experience. tl/dr: MIL ignored advice and had a humiliating and terrible experience when she took our triplets to an inappropriate place against our explicit desire. MIL then non-pologized when threatened with only supervised visits with only grandkids. Non-pology was put into the shred-file, and MIL finally actually apologized. She has had other stupid incidents that caused conflict, but this was the one in which she punished herself instead of DH & I, so it's the best example of how sometimes JNMILs get what's coming to them when they think they know best about their grandkids. It's also a good example of spineless DH's figuring out what's right. His spine isn't shiny, but it's not dull either. I want y'all to be inspired by it!
Hey all, Here is a rundown of the details of each gang, ranging from sphere of influence, crimes, uniforms, where they reside and how they make money in Night City. If you keep up to date with the lore, most of this information will not be new to you, so don't expect anything fancy. This is mainly for those who want some basic information on each of the gangs, and don't invest a lot of time into the lore. Hence, this information is kept very basic and straight forward. If you want a video format of this information, here is a link, but I highly suggesting reading it, as well as other material too! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI13y1xF63o Most of this information can be found directly on the Cyberpunk Wiki: https://cyberpunk.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Gangs The Maelstrom Gang The Maelstrom Gang is the most dangerous of Night City's gangs. With 1300 members, they reside within the Watson district, and spawned from the remains of a previous gang called the Metal Warriors. When this gang was almost fully wiped out, the Maelstrom gang replaced it, and grew exponentially in size. They took shelter in Watson, within a pig slaughterhouse called the All Food Plant. This is where the brains of their organisation stays. The Maelstrom specialise with illegal medicines and drugs, being their primary form of income. Before selling these, they usually acquire such illicit objects from organised raids and hit jobs on whoever they deem needs to be taken out. They do not discriminate - they will kill anyone and anything to get to the top, and to get what they want. Think of them a lot like the Mafia - very organised and structural, where you need to do your part for the organisation, otherwise it's game over for you. Like many of the gangs in Night City, they own a club, called the Totentanz Club. It is said to be the most popular of all clubs in Night City that are owned by a gang. They also have their own uniform, containing clothes of leather and chrome, alongside their array of high-tech cyberware. Their kind of gang structure has a particular name for it - a Boostergang. These are gangs with members who often enhance themselves with cybernetics. In fact, many Maelstrom members are Cyberpsychos - a mental illness of identity loss due to an excessive amount of cyberware on one's body. They lose a sense of what and who they are. But they know one thing - they serve the Maelstrom, and they kill for the Maelstrom Gang. The Maelstrom are lead by Simon Randall, a.k.a Royce. V will have the opportunity to eliminate Royce in the quest 'Going Pro', where you must find a Flathead spiderbot through infultrating the Maelstrom headquarters. The Maelstrom, being the most dangerous gang in Night City, have an Extreme Threat Level in Night City. Look out for them, because they will look out for you. The Scavengers The Scavengers are a nasty gang that inhabit all of Night City, with a particular presense in Pacifica and Heywood. Similar to the Maelstrom Gang, they are ruthless, and will attack anyone or anything. But they have their own method. Instead of organised crime, any of their members simply attack weak and innocent people. They have ties to the Soviet Union, with many of their members being fluent in Russian, as well as very involved within the culture. Their uniform consists of tracksuits, cyberware and tattoos. The name of the game for the Scavengers is as the name suggests - scavenging. This gang kidnaps people and forcibly harvests everything they can from their victims. Organ harvesting proves profitable for them. But most importantly, they will take the cyberware from their victims. As such, they are filthy rich from distributing their looted cyberware off to other gangs, ripperdocs, and a range of other criminals. If the Scavengers aren't scavenging, they're committing other crimes such as common assault, mutilation and dismemberment of whomever they please. When you roam in Night City, look for Russian graffitti to sniff out the presence of the Scavengers, otherwise, they might find you first. Within Night City, they have a Medium Threat level. Voodoo Boys The Voodoo Boys take their name to heart, with very tribalistic and cult-like activities in Night City, primarily in the District of Pacifica. They came to birth after Haiti and Dominica were devasted by natural disasters in the 2060s. Upon migrating into Night City, they started their own community of criminals. They like to keep their blood strong, maintaining members to only be of Haitian and Dominican descent alike. The Voodoo Boys are classified as a terrorist or nihilist gang - a gang that commits abnormal atrocities, and don't have any meaning in life other than to cause harm to others. They have several hundreds of members, and are the best in the business when it comes to non-synthetic drugs. But there is one thing that they are even better at. The Voodoo Boys are the kings of the Net. Many of their members are Netrunners, who love to freeze neural networks, and plant viruses on the Net to take down many of their targets. In fact, their primary source of income is through hacking databases and accounts, stealing both important data and of course, money. Their main targets are big corporations. Their other goal with the Net is to breach the Blackwall - a virtual wall to protect against free A.Is causing chaos, of which the Voodoo Boys believe Free A.Is would be beneficial. This means the gang is at odds with the organisation that protects the Blackwall - namely, Netwatch. Cosmetics and uniforms for the Voodoo Boys consist of tattoos, piercings, implants, cybernetics, dreadlocks, and charms made of bones. They are scary, both physically, and virtually throughout the Net. The Voodoo Boys are led by Brigitte, a deadly Netrunner whom V will certainly encounter in Cyberpunk 2077, as well as her second-in-command, Placide. Their threat level throughout Night City is quite low, however they are by far the most dangerous gang on the Net - it's their territory. Animals The main rival for the Voodoo Boys in the physical world is a gang that is just as crazy - the Animals. The Animals likewise reside within Pacifica, leading the two gangs to often go head-to-head. They're an aggressive street-fighting gang who love enhancing their bodies with cyberware, supplements, and their special drug called 'the Juice'. This drug increases speed and strength, making members of the Animals gang particularly deadly in a one-on-one fight out in the street. The Animals are just as deadly as the Maelstrom out and about in the city, performing deadly attacks on residents and other gangs. With over 2500 members, they have hundreds of small packs, or groups, that carry out these attacks by the day and night. You will often find Animals members as bouncers or hired muscle, as well as in the fighting minigames, as their raw strength and ferocity proves useful in these scenarios. If you do see one, they'll typically be seen with cybernetics, implanted muscles, plastic surgery and skin modifications to ramp up their ferocious and bestial physiques. These attributes has led to the gang being classified as a Combat Gang, a.k.a a gang that centers around a Warrior Code. The Animals are possibly the most well versed and profitable in the world of illicit and black-market drug dealing. This is their main method of income creation, on top of other crimes like racketeering. The gang is led by their ad-hoc leader, Sasquatch, who is incredibly strong through her use of steroids, and has a sledgehammer as her weapon of choice. The 2019 Deep Dive revealed a quest where you can infiltrate their base and have the option to kill Sasquatch. The consequences are yet to be revealed, if you kill her, or leave her to live. The decision is yours. The Animals are a High Level Threat within Night City. 6th Street The 6th Street came to be after the 4th Corporate War, where Veterans of the war decided to make their own gang as the NCPD was incompetent in protecting them against the local gangs. With 2300 strong, these American patriots believe solely in bringing justice to the city. Their primary activities consist of robbery, extortion and gun smuggling within their home districts, Santo Domingo and Heywood. These activities may also spill over to the Badlands, where they have extensive connections to many of the Nomads in that area. Another way they make money is through protecting local businesses upon the provision that they pay tribute to the gang for such protection. Their other speciality is to do with vehicles. Not only do they run taxi services around Night City, but they steal and modify cars using Techies, and then sell them afterwards. The 6th Street gang is often not on the friendly side of other gangs as they wish to rid of many of the other gangs. The NCPD hence tolerates the 6th Street gang, as they assist the police in dealing with plenty of criminals in the streets. The 6th Street gang has a Medium Threat Level within Night City. Valentinos The Valentinos are a traditionalist-style gang located within the district of Heywood. It is one of the largest gangs, housing 6000 members, all mostly of Latino descent. This is understandly why our main man Jackie Wells used to be a member within the gang. The gang is motivated by a different cause than most others. To seduce women. The more prestigious and unobtainable the woman is, the better the target for seduction by the members of the gang. In true traditionalist fashion, they hold some old-school values high, like justice, honour and brotherhood, and will defend these values to the death. They are also quite religious, but no concrete details of their religious activities have been revealed just yet. Unlike most other gangs, they are open to who joins the gang, and they are extremely territorial. Also different to other gangs, they head up a lot of legitimate businesses in Night City. You'll find many Valentinos managing restaurants, nightclubs, car workshops, construction companies and more. But don't be fooled. They still love your run-of-the-mill criminal activities. The Valentinos are particularly fond of gun smuggling, theft, trafficking, burglaries, hit jobs, and almost every other crime you can think of. Like the 6th Street gang, they receive payments to protect members of the neighbourhood and their businesses. This often puts the Valentinos and the 6th Street gang at odds with each other within Heywood. Be very careful who you mess with in Heywood, as you might find one of these gangs coming after you soon after. Valentino clothing is very bright, colourful and shiny, with jewellery, tattoos and colourful clothes being worn often. It will be hard to miss a Valentino in the streets. The gang has a Medium to High Threat Level in Night City. Tyger Claws The Tyger Claws are a large Japanese gang found in Night Cit, centered primarily within the districts of Westbrook and Watson. They came to fruitition when the Asian community within Night City was under poor protection around the year 2045. After teaming up with the mega corporation Arasaka, they were able to grow into a strong combat gang, just like the Animals, but with a much stronger focus on defense. This means that they are quite controlling of their own territory, and will defend it at any cost. The gang consists of around 5500 members, most of which are very old-school in their methods of combat. Their weapons of choice don't involve cyberware like all the other gangs. The Tyger Claws much prefer to use martial arts, strong reflexes and traditional Japanese weapons like the Katana. This doesn't stop them from being a very potent threat within Night City - they know combat all too well. The Tyger Claws own the most legiitimate businesses out of all the other gangs. Bars, resturants, braindance outlets, brothels and casinos. You name it, they own it. Many of them can be found in Japantown, a beautiful sub-district of Westbrook. The crown jewel of their assets and their operations, the Clouds Nightclub can be found here. Behind the scenes, these businesses can also act as tools for illicit activities like money laundering and manufacturing drugs. But this doesn't name all of their income earners. The Tyger Claws also love human trafficking and prostitution. Their poor treatment of women in the sex industry led to the creation of their rival gang, who we will discuss after this. Crimes for the Tyger Claws are like any other. Assault, torture, abduction, hit jobs, murder and street fighting. They commit these crimes in their signature uniforms and visual identifiers - katanas, fast street bikes, luminated tattoos and tantos, which are like small knives. The Tyget Claws gang poses a Medium to High Level Threat to Night City. Moxes The Moxes are the newest edition to the gangs of Night City. They formed just eleven years before the events of Cyberpunk 2077,. The gang rose in power after their leader, Elizabeth Lizzie Borden was murdered by the Tyger Claws. She was murdered after killing 3 members of the Tyger Claws, who raped a prostitute who worked for Lizzie. This bar, is of course Lizzie's Bar, where we can find the braindance technician Judy Alvarez, who is also a member of the Moxes Gang. They own a few other brothels as well around the city, where they can extend their work in the sex industry. The Moxes gang's HQ is in Lizzie's Bar, which is located in the Watson District, in the sub-district called Kabuki. Here, the Moxes gang makes most of their income from the sex work that occurs in this braindance club. The gang is therefore primarily composed of around 250 sex workers, punks, anarchists and sexual minorities, who value the protection of the working class against violence and abuse. As to be expected, they are not at all fond of the Tyger Claws gang for their actions against Lizzie. However, they will only attack if they are provoked. The Moxies are usually quite a passive gang. Unlike the other gangs as well, they don't tend to involve themselves in much criminal activity. The only speciality of theirs that is somewhat illegal is their extensive work in prostitution, of which many of their members take part. If you see a Moxie, you can expect them to dress in a Punk style, or in cheap fashion that prostitutes may often wear. They are also quite fond of using Realskinn, a plastic covering used to disguise cyberware and cyberlimbs, to which the Moxies endulge in too. The Moxies are a Low Threat Level within Night City. Wraiths The Wraiths are the first of two large gangs within the Badlands. Gangs in the Badlands are made up of hundreds of rogue Nomads, who travel around quite a lot. The Badlands is a dog-eat-dog world, and so the Wraiths are gruesome and ruthless - they atttack their prey during the night, and will raid or murder their victims. These raids will be conducted through their custom cars made to travel through the Badlands - they call these vehicles the Reaver. A customised version of the Type 66 Quadra, made especially for driving on rough terrain. This leads us to their primary source of income, and that is raiding. Many transport convoys or lone vehicles are great targets in the open Badlands to be attacked and robbed from. They also will raid lots of small villages around the Badlands, taking anything from drugs, boosters, cars, car parts, and cyberware, where they can enjoy the spoils of their work. Many companies in Night City also give them transportation contracts to protect valuable transport. However, the Wraiths may take it upon themselves to ransom or raid the vehicles that they were contracted to protect. They don't care of the consequences. You will find plenty of Wraiths outside of Night City, where it's estimated that there are anywhere from 300 to 1200 members. If these members aren't raiding anyone, then they're probably fighting tooth and nail against their rival gang, the Aldecaldos, who we'll discuss soon. The gang is led by a human-skin wearing man named Dogkiller, who we will hopefully be able to encounter in Cyberpunk 2077. However, if we do, they won't be nice to start out with. The Wraiths are a High Level Threat in the world of Cyberpunk 2077, namely in the Badlands. Aldecaldos The gang was formed by its leader, Juan Aldecaldo who fled California to go to Mexico City back in the 1980s. In 2015, the gang returned to the US, and brought a certain someone with them. A great man named Johnny Silverhand, who was in hiding for several years. The gang emigrated to Night City, where they inhabitated the Badlands, running farms and transporting stolen goods to get by day-to-day. They still do this in 2077, led by Santiago Aldecaldo, the new leader of the gang. He is a good friend of Johnny Silverhand. This will mean the Aldecaldos will be far easier to get on the good side of then their famous rivals, the Wraiths. The gang consists of over 10000 members, making it one of the largest gangs in Night City. Several hundreds of these members actually reside inside the walls of Night City, extending their influence out further. Not much else is known just yet about their day-to-day activities, so we'll have to discover this on December 10th. The gang is most likely of a Medium Threat Level in Night City and the Badlands. Let me know what gang(s) you'll side with, and what one(s) you'll seek to destroy. I love how the Maelstrom look but I think they're too dangerous to be alive. I may side with the more chill gangs like the Tyger Claws and the Aldecaldos.
Pre-Conference Question - What do you think he'll announce?
A harsher lecture on being a GOOD NEIGHBOR?
Modified Phase 3 ala New Orleans?
Moving back to Phase 2 or 1?
Or will it be an unexpected Stay At Home order?
Some other option?
NOTE: The summary of this press conference is transcribed LIVE. The summary may contain spelling and grammatical errors which until it is able to be corrected once the conference concludes. NOTE: The summary may contain spelling and grammatical errors. Gov JBE
Anyone who has been paying attention to the news whether internationally, nationally, or state you know COVID-19 is going in the wrong direction unmoving very fast in the wrong direction.
Louisiana is experiencing the third surge of COVID-19.
Nov alone the US has had more new cases than in any other months and hospitalizations are at a record high nationally. Higher than other surges.
Yesterday the US added more than 169,000 new cases in one day and 898 deaths.
This week's WH Coronavirus Taskforce Report shows 474 new cases per 100,000 people last week we had 172 new cases per 100,000 people. The national average is 356 cases per 100,000.
So this is the first week in many weeks that LA has had more new cases than the national average.
Today we report ___ new cases and sadly 39 additional people have lost their lives to the virus for a Toal amount of ___ deaths. Reporting 1,052 hospitalizations, not the first of the month we had less than 600. Today we are up 40 than yesterday with more than 350+ net new COVID19 hospitalizations. 113 patients on mechanical ventilators.
When we see what's happening in state and across all regions we have to be very cautious about hospitalizations and maintain the capacity to give life-saving care to covid and non-covid patients.
Trajectory we are on it is imperative we take action now.
If we could flip a switch and get 100% adherence to mitigation measures to all measures we are still 2 weeks from seeing changes.
We are in for a rough patch, and the degree we flatten the curve and are successful will depend on eery Louisianan.
We are stepping a step back to a revised Phase 2. So Phase 2 with some modifications.
We got out of the prior surge by moving to Phase 2.
What does that mean?
Will get into that later...
Wants to get ahead of the Thanksgiving Holiday and the extended holiday season.
Data includes info thru Friday, Nov 20.
Thanks National Guard, GOSHEP, and the LDH for working very hard and working over the holiday.
Gating Criteria Slides:
What we are seeing is as concerning as it has ever been. We were lucky to have a reprieve from the rest of the countries rise in cases for a few weeks we are now where a large portion of the country is.
Top left shows % of patients coming into ER departments across the state with symptoms suggestive of COVID-19 you can see the prior spikes and now it is increasing again.
Top right show new cases on a rolling 7-day average you can see the first and second spikes and now the increase we are on which is almost identical to where we were going up in the second spike and clearly we have not hit the top yet.
Bottom left you can see the % positivity dated back to the date of collection and that is increasing as well up to 8.1% now will be posted on the dashboard tomorrow. You will see testing volume is also increasing. There is more COVID so more people are getting tested due to more exposure plus the increase around testing around the holiday. An increase in testing volume has no bearing on testing positivity. An increase in positivity and testing volume is a strong signal we are experiencing a lot of COVID.
Bottom right is the amount of hospitalized patients with COVID19 you can see the two spikes and now a sharp increase. It is a rate of increase that our hospitals cannot stand for very much longer.
Region analysis - every region across the state are seeing similar increases.
Region 1 Orleans - increase across the board.
Region 2 EBR - increase across the board.
Region 3 River parishes - increase across the board.
Region 4 - increases across the board.
Region 5 Lake Charles - increases across the board.
Region 6 Can LA - increases across the board with a very sharp increase in new cases and hosp.
Region 7 - increase across the board.
Region 8 - increase across the board.
Region 9 - increases across the board.
A month ago it was a mixed bag with some areas plateauing or increasing.
Now the entire state for all gating criteria is increasing, (only Can LA is plateauing for COVID-like illness reports).
Still have capacity across the state but this is a lagging indicator so if you act when hospitals are at capacity it is too late.
People waiting a long time to get a bed. One ER had to use recliners in the ER while people waited for a bed to open up.
Rural/smaller hospitals are having a difficult time transferring patients to other locations. Not every ICU bed is equal and some conditions require more expertise from an advanced center. Only a handful exist across the state. Even if a rural hospital has an ICU available if a patient presents with needing an advanced team and there are none available they may have to wait a couple of days before they get transferred in. That's a delay of care and has consequences.
Hospitals are stretched and already at staffing capacity. A nurse may typically care for 4-5 patients may now be caring for 6-7.
These things have consequences and it is just the beginning because we haven't hit capacity yet. This is a warning we have to act now. There are things we are working to preserve in the state and the ability to access normal hospital care is one of those priorities. We do not want to have to delay scheduled procedures.
The path ahead is dangerous. This is a dangerous time for Louisiana.
The trajectory we are on is dangerous. We are on a similar trajectory as before.
Now it is flu season so we have extra patients in the hospital.
Weather turning cold so more people indoors = more transmission.
Peak of the holiday season coming up so there's a temptation to gather. Gathering = more transmission.
Previous increases we were not in lockstep with the rest of the country. Every other state is seeing runs on hospital care and demands of their hospital staff at the same time we are. If we need to ask for help, it may not be there this time. In fact, we don't think they will be available because they will be caring for their own state's patients.
Questions for Dr Kanter about data
Related to Halloween? Seems people are willing to gather for Thanksgiving. Are we going to see a worsening 2 weeks after Thanksgiving We are already seeing just about as steep of an increase as we can get it really can't get much steeper than that. I don't know, looking back to Halloween, it was part of it. I think increases from other states was bleeding over into our particularly in Northern LA. Plus we are tired, COVID fatigue is real, and it's easy to get complacent. Even without Thanksgiving coming ahead we will continue to get worse. I don't know how much worse it gets with Thanksgiving. I cannot emphasize this more than enough if you need to make a decision for your family talk to someone who has had it, experiencing the disease, or someone who has worked in the affected healthcare facilities during those two surges. How much is being driven by small gatherings indoors and if so it doesn't seem restrictions matter than much Small gatherings have been a larger component than months ago, there is no question about that but that is just one slice. We continue to see a lot of cases tied to bars, restaurants, events, and churches as well. Mitigation measures are going to be significant in their effect but not absolute. The other side is that people really need to make responsible decisions when no one is looking. No one will police who parities but I want families to take it seriously and know what the real risks are and make an informed decision. The more families are informed the more they will be likely to say for this year, for my family, it is just not worth it. Gov. JBE
We have already been told that for example if we will request help from he Fed gov in respect to medical care to Louisiana there are 12 individual and discrete things we have done first before we can be considered.
Strong indication we cannot count on that.
Difference between Spring and Summer surges when we did have medical personnel available from requests to the Federal government at that time.
Partially important for Northern and Central LA. I do not know how hard it will be to go back in the gating criteria for those regions but if you go to Region 6. If you look right at the summer surge we never got those numbers as far down as we wanted to we never got those numbers down to where we wanted to. So the baseline of going into the third surge is much higher relatively speaking to the state as a whole. So we are already in a much more difficult place.
Statewide the non-COVID patient population is higher now than it was in the Spring or the Summer.
Region 7 you will see the right of the summer surge the numbers did not come down to be even close to where they were before the summer surge started. So they have a very high baseline of cases.
Region 8 the same thing.
Our numbers are worse and they are getting worse everywhere so I hesitate to bring up regions 6,7, and 8 because people might think that's the only places we need to be focused on. That is not true, but I will tell you its a particular concern if you are in Central or Northern LA because you have such a high baseline going into this.
While we need adherence to restrictions everywhere it is particularly acute in Regions 6,7, and 8.
Breakdown of Phase 2 (modified) will become effective tomorrow and last 28 days (4 weeks) expiring on Dec 23:
Statewide surge requiring a statewide effort.
Follows the White House Coronavirus Task Force recommendations.
Last time we had such a large single-day increase was in July -- which is when we took action through implementing Phase 2 and the mask mandate -- and collectively the people across Louisiana responded and we bent the curve.
Time for us to rise again and meet the challenge before us.
With the Holiday season before us we really gotta pay attention to this now so we do not overburden our hospitals to not deliver care. I do not want to have hospitals have to cancel elective surgeries or medical procedures want. Delayed non-emergency procedures and surges often transmit into emergencies later on. Do not want doctors to have to make crisis care decisions pitting cases against one another due to a lack of resources.
We have avoided crisis care during our previous waves because we worked together to flatten the curve.
If there was ever a time to step up and be a good neighbor, whether it is to your actual neighbor or to someone in LA you have never met, that time is now.
People do not stop having car accidents because of a pandemic. There are still critical care needs apart from COVID.
Do it for the medical professionals as well who have been overworked since March.
To keep schools open.
Encouraging all employers public and private to maximize the use of telework where possible.
Ask families to engage in safe holiday-related activities. When you gather with those outsides from your household the more times you do it the more you roll the dice and the more likely it is that you or multiple people get sick. With community spread the dice are loaded against you. I ask you not to do this, especially during the holidays. It is what the CDC and LDH recommend.
Start planning now for a safe Christmas and Hanukkah.
Reduction in gathering sizes for businesses & houses of worship
50% for occupancy with social distancing and masks for restaurants, coffee shops, cafes, gyms, casinos, and video poker, and non-essential retail businesses.**
Essential is determined by the Dept. of Homeland Security.
75% for occupancy with social distancing and masks for churches and places of worship.**
Reduction in gathering sizes at bars other restrictions remain in place.
Bars in parishes with greater than 5% must close to indoors consumption can have outdoor seating of up to 50 people, seated and spaced out, and masks mandated.
Bars in parishes with less than 5% can allow indoor consumption up to 25% occupancy seated and spaced out; outdoor consumption encouraged and masks mandated.
Reduction in gathering sizes at event centers
Indoors limited to 25% occupancy, make required up to 75.
Outdoors limited to 25% occupancy, masks required, up to 150 where social distancing is not possible.
Reduction of sporting event occupancy
Limited to 25% occupancy.
When LDH updates the two-week case incidence numbers tomorrow there will be some parishes where bars close, that were going to happen regardless of these changes because those parishes would have exceeded the 10% that was previously required.
Now allowing outdoor seating.
Statewide mask mandate remains in effect
It was a critical part of slowing the spread in the summer and is a critical part now.
Now we know wearing a mask also reduces transmission to you as well as those around you.
Doing everything we can to keep schools open.
Local decision how schools do this.. if they are in person, vertical, or hybrid.
Do not have an expectation that by Dec 23rd we will reduce restrictions a couple of days ahead of Christmas.
All data indicates we in for a couple of rough months.
No one should believe we will relax restrictions around that time.
I hope and pray, and believe, we will not have to put more restrictions in place before then.
Will be dependent on if the people of Louisiana embrace the mitigation measures and flatten that curve again. If we stay on the current trajectory we will be forced to put more restrictions in place.
Everyday households need to stick together and reduce interaction with those outside of their household.
Any activities that do take place should take place outside rather than inside.
Odds are 20x higher to catch the virus indoors than outdoors when the same activity takes place.
We are expecting rain this week perhaps staying with us through Thanksgiving and after.
Even if you planned the safest possible event with it intended to be outdoors there is a good chance you will not be able to do that.
Now is your opportunity to adjust your Thanksgiving plans.
Do not have people from different households come indoors together. The virus doesn't care if you are a relative.
If you want a Christmas without loved ones in the hospital, or worse, you need to be extremely careful on Thanksgiving and every day.
Next few weeks would normally be holiday party time - office, block, family, etc.
Holiday parties are a recipe for disaster now. Asking people to forgo those parties.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it is not a high-speed train heading in our direction, I believe in a few months we will be able to put the pandemic behind us. Next month we can start vaccinating in small numbers and will take some time to get to the general population. Do not get in your mind we will have to mask up and physically distance forever. There is an excellent chance that next Thanksgiving will be the best one ever. While there is COVID fatigue and I know it is real, it is also real that we are looking for renewed interest and compliance for a finite amount of time. I hope it inspires people to do what is required and know they won't have to do it forever. The next few months are critical. We need everyone to be on the same page.
Holidays are about showing your love for those you care about. The best way to love someone right now is to give them COVID. So like it says, "pass the pie and not COVID" that is our mission. That is the mission for everybody in Louisiana.
Follow the commonsense public health measures, the restrictions, and mitigation measures.
They work and have worked before.
Mitigation measures: wear a mask, stay 6ft apart from that outside of your household, wash your hands for 20 seconds, stay home when sick, and protect the most vulnerable from this disease (65+ in age and those with co-morbidities).
Thanks to all public health workers.
Owe a debt of gratitude for those who have worked so hard for months now. We should not make it harder than it needs to be. We should all do our part.
Epidemiologists in Louisiana say we may be getting diminishing returns on our introduction of restrictions than what we previously saw. Are you concerned that the impact of the introduction of these restrictions will be more gradual and the implications that may have I am concerned about an awful lot as it is related to COVID19 and this pandemic. There is not one easy decision I have made nor one that has brought me joy. I am convinced that if the people of Louisiana will embrace these mitigation measures and restrictions, be patient and selfless, and ensure compliance that we will flatten the curve again. That is what I know. There are no magic tricks to be worked here. The only way to stop a surge is with restrictions and mitigation measures. So with the numbers increases here and around the country as they are the sense of urgency that you see coming out of leaders in Washington right now, as seen with Vice President Pence and the Coronavirus Task Force the other day, everyone should understand that this a very very serious situation. We have to do our part in order to slow the spread. It has to be a collective effort. No one should say is 99% of the people do it that's good enough I don't have to personally do it... that doesn't work. We all have to see it as a common effort that we all play our part. If someone would have presented a better option to flatten the curve I would have taken it. I know we have COVID fatigue here and around the country. If there was something other than wearing masks, washing your hands and staying home when you are sick, and so forth I would embrace it. It doesn't exist. That is why you hear this coming out of Washington and all the other healthcare workers how important these are. So let's do it. Let's flatten the curve again. I feel very comfortable that in several months, not sure when we will have enough of our population vaccinated that I believe we can start putting in the rear view mirror. Until now and then we have to do what is necessary. I do not know if there is another surge after this one, I pray not, but we know we are surging now. Are you trying to change the way enforcement has been handled on these public health issues. Obviously the problem is people aren't following previous guidelines.. so are you making changes to enforcement? We will continue to work with businesses of all types and venues to ensure that they understand that the restrictions are what rules they have to abide by. Individuals and businesses can get more information at opensafely.la.gov and you will get more information. Will there be enforcement? Yes, there will be, but I am going to say what I've said back in March and every time since then, if the people in Louisiana insist we enforce our way through this we are doomed to failure. There are 4.66 million Louisianas and 10s of thousands of business and quite frankly we cannot enforce our way through this. We are going to be asking people to comply, do compliance visits, respond to complaints, and where people refuse to come int o compliance you can expect enforcement. That will not get us through this surge. That will not protect the health of our fellow Louisianans, it is better than not doing any enforcement. We need to have people doin this because it is the right thing to do. They need to embrace it, not because it is pleasant but at the end of the day this about people's lives are talking about. We are doing our very best to strike the balance between lives on one hand and livelihoods on the other. When it comes to economy, to business, to employers, to livelihoods, the best thing we can do is put this virus behind us. Are the rules for temporary conditional permits allowing bars to operate as restaurants remain in effect? Yes and we currently have 372 bars using conditional permits to operate as restaurants. They are not a hybrid, they are not part bar or part bar. They operate as restaurants if they are operating properly and they follow all rules for restaurants. For other establishment that continue to operate as bars they need to follow the way we outlined bars operate today. What are you doing for your Thanksgiving celebration. You have a son who is coming home from college because LSU is going virtual for Thanksgiving Yeah I have a son who actually lives here in Baton Rogue and he will likely be coming home to spend some time with us. I will tell you we will stay in baton Rogue at the mansion and have a Thanksgiving meal that consists of the immediate household. We will gives thanks because even during this pandemic which has been so tough on people, even after the 3 hurricanes that hit this year, we have so much to be thankful for. God has truly blessed us. Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks and that is important to me and my family and we are going to do it, but last year I remember my 84 year old mother came, my 6 siblings all came with their spouses and children and grandchildren. We had 80 or 90 people. You will not be seeing that this year and you will not see it at Christmas either. I hope and pray that if you are with me on Thanksgiving Day of 2021 you will see that. I believe that you will, but between now and then we all have to do our part. Did you tell Legislative leaders about these new restrictions before you came out here today? What was their response? Yes, I did. You need to know that I routinely send data and information to the Speaker and to the President. We have complete transparency on the data we are relying on because we update it every day aside for Saturday. We also have sent Legislative leadership, and I believe every member of the Legislature, every White House Coronavirus Task Force report whenever we get them. This morning in a addition to those things we presented all gating criteria slides to the Speaker and the President. We talked about where we were especially in light of our hospital capacity and our need to go back to a modified Phase 2 in order to flatten the curve again. They asked some questions, expressed concerns to makes sure whether the Fire Marshall or ATC will work with proprietors and bar owners to maximum extend possible so they can know hat is expected of them and be given an opportunity, if they are operation in good faith -- of which the overwhelming majority of businesses are -- to come into compliance. That has been our approach throughout the pandemic. We have always bent over backwards to make sure individuals know what the rules give them every opportunity to come into compliance and only after persistent shortcomings/refusal to do any real enforcement actions like citations take place. I assured him our approach would not change. Does the influx of new vaccines change our prognosis at all We have a draft plan in Louisiana that we continue to update and revise daily. The reason it is a draft plan is that we still don't know the day that we will get the first vaccines nor the number of doses that will be there. I have every expectation that around mid-December we should receive some doses of the Pfizer vaccines first. We don't know how many it could be as few as 30,000 or might be 60,000 we do not know for sure. We think the first doses of the Moderna vaccines would come weeks later, perhaps with a smaller number available initially. We continue to work with our federal partners. We were on the phone with Azar yesterday and talked about the logistical aspects of Project Warpspeed. Once the vaccine gets the EUA from the FDA we will have the vaccine in route to our location(s) of choice in 24 hours. The first shipment will be prioritized to healthcare workers, then high-risk groups (nursing homes, assisted living centers, congregated shelters), then the list expands from there out. Ultimately we want to get to a place where we put a call out to the general population they can go to their health unit (hospital, doctor's office, or pharmacy) and get the vaccine. This is not a one and one vaccine, it requires a second dose, depending on the manufacturer that could be between 21-28 days later. More vaccines may come only over time and some of these things may change. I do not want talk of the vaccine, it is critically important and no one is more excited than I am, but I do not want the talk of the vaccine to cause people to not pay attention to what is imperative right now. That is why you hear Dr. Birx, Dr. Fauci, Azar, talking about the term of bridging to the vaccine and needing to double-down on measures until the vaccine is widely available. The vaccine will not be here in the numbers we need soon enough to reverse the trajectory and numbers we went over today. I do want to mention I have every confidence that when the FDA issues that EUA that that vaccine will be safe and effective. I hope my fellow Louisiana will embrace the vaccine. A vaccine saves 0 lives but vaccination can save a lot of lives. The vaccination requires the vaccines and an individual to receive that vaccine in two injections. So please understand the FDA has not cut out any steps required to evaluate the safety and efficacy of these vaccines. In fact, the trial sizes were 5x-6x more than one would normally see in a trial. They took steps consecutively instead of sequentially to make this vaccine thereby shortening its time for production. They started the mass production while trials were still happening. So if that authorization comes they have the vaccine to distribute and more to be distributed and you don't have to start that manufacturing process up from the beginning. So I really want people to embrace this and understand they will be safe and effective once the call goes out to start vaccination. Does the state have enough cold storage for the vaccines or does the state have to put in some money for that? We've identified the cold storage capacity that we need pursuant to our plan to administer the Pfizer vaccine. Its a combination of cold storage capacity and dry ice. We will be in good shape there. This is why you have to have really good hard work going on hard in advance. That way working with hospitals and universities you are able to identify all the cold storage you have, where is available for these vaccines and then you plug that into your plan. That will not be a limiting factor in terms of receiving the vaccine. Logistically it makes it more complicated because you have to receive it at those sites and distribute it from there. They are still evaluating how long the vaccines remain stable once they thaw out. We will be all over that so we will make sure if that vial falls out it will be administered while it is stable and making sure that people come and get the second dose as well.
Thank you for continuing to cover this. We do not anticipate another press conference until next week, date unknown.
As I mentioned awhile ago, despite how difficult this year has been for all of us both individually and as a state, there is a lot for us to be thankful for. That is always the case. So Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for the blessing we enjoy and I would encourage people to find ways to have a celebration that is safe so we can be thankful for the blessings we have while being mindful of the dangers of this pandemic. There are dangers if we insists on celebrating the holidays as we have in past. I cannot strongly encourage people to be patient. I know you are tired of this but be patient and love your loved ones by making sure you do not expose them to unnecessary risk. We close to them through the phone, FaceTime, and other ways. Let's look forward to getting together without restrictions and mitigation measures. Unless between now and then we are too risky with our behaviors and we'll be lamenting the fact that we didn't do what we were asked to do. That some of our loved ones won't be with us when the time comes to celebrate in person. When that next birthday, Thanksgiving, or Christmas happens. I encourage everyone to do their part. You've done it before. We can do it again. I am not asking for you to do this forever. There is finite time I am asking for. I cannot tell you when, but I believe in several months we will be putting this in our rearview mirror, but it is not today. In fact, it is not in our rear-view mirror it is in our grill and it is a nasty nasty situation here in Louisiana like it is around the country. We do not have a moment to waste. Everyone has to do their part. If we do, and I'm sure we will, we will get through this. I have every confidence of the people in Louisiana. They have always inspired by their kindness, goodness, and generosity and I believe they will do it again. So let's work together. Let's save lives. God bless and thank you.
"What all this boils down to at the end of the day is as thus: anyone on either side of the political spectrum seriously trusting a handful of oil barons and casino operators (mmmm trustworthy) to look out for you, the little guy or anyone else but themselves has a nasty lesson coming."
Fan rewrite of the Canto Bight scene from The Last Jedi
Hello! In a spontaneous burst of creativity I have written down my fan reimagination of the Canto Bight Casino scene, considered by a lot of people, myself included, as not exactly peak Star Wars quality. I hope you will enjoy and I would greatly appreciate if you'd like to leave some thoughts after reading. Warning: long text. [Rose and Finn have just landed on Canto Bight and ran into the Casino building] Rose and Finn are looking around the casino in wonder, marveling at the riches and beauty neither of them could ever imagine. [We keep the same montage of all the games, tables and activities in the casino] Suddenly the ground shakes violently but despite Rose and Finn almost losing their footing, none of the regular patrons seem to be bothered. They race to a balcony to see a gigantic loop tunneled into the ground behind the casino building. Then another tremor starts and two PODRACERS zoom past the casino at breakneck speed. Yet the tunnel looks impossible to maintain this race at it is only a few meters wide with sharp turns and obstacles on the way with pods barely making the turns. The onlookers and guests all seem to have a great time enjoying their drinks and casual conversation. The bets have been placed long ago and it looks like the race itself is of little importance to the patrons. All are posh and stylish, with flowing robes and handcrafted suits decorated with gold and riches. All but one woman. A woman in ragged clothes, trembling, biting her nails and mumbling something like a mantra, seems to be the object of constant nasty remarks from the other guests. Finn notices a datapad attached to the railing – it displays the information on the podracers taking part in the current race. He notices some are constructed using decommissioned Rebel Alliance fighter parts and scraps from Imperial tech. Final racer listed doesn’t match the rest. Riding a shiny chrome vehicle that looks engineered to perfection to fit the track and its dangers. The racer’s previous victories are also listed. Then a flash is seen in the canyon and the chrome racer approaches. He looks to be in the leading position yet closely interlocked with one of the scrappiest pods. The ragged woman gets visibly more worried and recites her mantra louder. It seems she is repeating a name over and over yet it’s one Finn has never heard before. Suddenly a loud scraping noise can be heard making the patrons cover their ears in pain. On the final corner the silver racer pushes into the scrap pod, pressing it against the tunnel wall. The scrapper loses control of his vehicle, spins uncontrollably then explodes in a ball of fire. Silver has won. Again. As he was supposed to. The patrons cheer and go to collect their winnings while the ragged woman looks like all life escaped from her body. She slides to her knees, stops speaking and breaks into tears. Rose approaches her and tries to comfort her, unsuccessfully. An important-looking patron approaches the balcony followed closely by some members of security personnel. He demands payment from the ragged woman and through tears she whimpers that she has nothing left. No money, no home and now.. no brother, either. The racer that has blown up was her last family member and they spent everything they had putting the vehicle together in an attempt to pay back their debts. He says that in this case she will pay him back in labor, then Finn and Rose rush between the patron and the woman, standing in her defense. They will not accept this treatment. And yet, our heroes are no match for armored guards equipped to pacify the most violent patrons. Finn and Rose get stunned, captured and dragged to prison. Through her closing eyes Rose sees another guard forcefully dragging the girl away. Finn and Rose wake up in a prison cell, not aware of how much time passed and not a step closer to finding the codebreaker. They discuss their plans and look for a way out and Rose realizes that in all that transpired in the casino they haven’t even seen the player with a red flower pin. This mention starts a commotion in the cell, waking up another resident. After a brief introduction, he reveals that the he is the one they have been looking for all along, and the flower besides being a decoration served as his encrypted databank with a lot of valuable information stored on it. He agrees to help the heroes if Finn manages to recover it, while he and Rose will secure an escape craft and locate BB-8 lost in the commotion. Finn unwillingly agrees and mentions how this will go nowhere unless they find a way out from the cell. The codebreaker smiles and with a quick flash of a small shiny object the cage door is open… [cue Finn invading the casino using his superior stormtrooper training, stealing the flower pin and jumping off a balcony into the ship Rose and BB-8 managed to secure.]
AITA for not speaking to my father until he apologizes?
I (24f) and my dad (50m) have had a very strained relationship ever since he married my step mom (35f) 11 years ago. Previously we always had a close relationship, though he lives 2.5 hours away, I haven’t see him in a while now due to covid. I have 2 half siblings that are 4 1/2 and 1 (very exciting since I was an only child before). I also didn’t speak to my dad for a year (2 years ago), because he doesn’t know how to respect me as an adult. Fast forward to present time, I know my dad has burned a lot of bridges because of his victim mentality, and step moms insecurities of him having other relationships (with anyone) FFW to this past weekend, where my family were planning to come to my house for the 1st time(bought our house in March), since they’re going to casino for dads 50th. He knows I’m taking Covid very seriously, had invited me to go, and redacted that invite a week before they came, because he knew I would be uncomfortable. And I felt guilty not visiting on his birthday, I said are you sure? He reassured me that they were coming to visit the following day. I talk to him the night before he is planning to come to my house,(his birthday) he knows I’m not coming to the casino, and we are both excited to see eachother at my house. The day we expect them, my bf took off work to visit, I took off work, we cleaned the house the entire weekend, and I don’t hear from him. I asked my Granny to see what was going on, since it was about an hour after they should’ve arrived. He had a migraine, but why wouldn’t he have texted me that or asked my step mom or Granny to let us know? It’s obvious they are headed home and not to my house because I knew they had to be back home early. Now I don’t hear from him until 5 days later(after I attempted calling multiple x prior)and I wake up to a nasty message about how he was disappointed that I didn’t come see him on his bday and that he had a migraine and couldn’t come to my house, they’re saying I’m a bad sister for missing milestones in my siblings lives (they always throw them in my face). I call him, he is so angry that he is calling me a terrible family member and calling me several names(including “bitch”.) and ends the convo by shouting “FUCK YOU”. And he’s playing the victim role, again. My step mom is also on the phone, being rude to me and my bf, and keeps mentioning how I missed my brothers 1st birthday (because of Covid), saying anything they can to validate their actions. If he were upset because I didn’t show, why wouldn’t he just say, please come visit on my birthday? If he didn’t feel well, why didn’t he just let me know? Which reason is it? I think he needed a week to think of a way to spin things around on me, and avoid accepting responsibility (he never admits he’s wrong, ever).More context -he always promises and never comes through, he has always been disappointing. I’m obviously upset because he couldn’t even apologize. AITA?
"Some Simple tips for CD devs to make CP2077 feel more alive in upcoming DLCs (Please read) First off, this game was an aesthetic treat and compared to GTAV, it is indeed much more "dense" with the core areas so much more beautiful in that regard... But no game is perfect, nor is it realistic in this decade to expect a full "city simulator" for any dev or in any game, so that's not what I'm expecting out of Night City not even under the most ideal of circumstances... That said, there are plenty of room for improvement, bug fixes sure, but also beyond that I'd like to see more in the upcoming DLC's that make NightCity more alive, not even necessarily newer and larger maps, but just practical added-elements and additional functional components that would go a long way towards making the city appear more 'alive', and immersive and dynamic and all that was illuded to but never fully manifested... So in terms of most bang for buck and the low-hanging fruit (80/20 principle):
1) Bring back (or rather develope for the first time) the promised subway system... this shouldn't be that hard to do... it would add an element of connectivity of the different parts of the city... Leave fast travel as an option, for those that want to ride the train shouldn't be forced to use loading screens 2) Air taxi(s) -- in the age of Telsa self driving cars, hyperloops, drone taxis we should have plenty of automated air taxi options in the world of CP2077, basically like the taxi hailing component in GTAIV (Liberty City) except the player can hail an air taxi that lands close to where he is standing, he gets in, and then chooses any destination and it automatically flys him to the location, while allowing him to look out the windows and enjoy the night city from above / higher perspective... this is simplier than simply giving the player ability to fly hovercars/etc since an air taxi is just from point to point and its trivial to code a system that flys the player from any point in the city to any other point without crashing into any buildings... we've seen NightCity from the ground, now lets see it from the sky! 3) Rented transporation -- user pays to be able to rent jet packs, hoverboards, scooters at different locations in the city so he can use a public transportation but on a personal level... for the jet packs cap a max height so that its still basically hovering at or around slightly above ground level, giving the user the discretion of travel but not allowing him to fly or scale above buildings etc... this requires money to rent and if the equipment is damaged, lost, stolen or not returned properly the users bank account will be deducted for the amount ( see #ECONOMY)
1) Skyscrapers with observation deck -- in every major city there is a theme like this, take Seattle for example you can visit the tallest building in Seattle downtown and go up on the obs deck and see the city view from high above, I would say incorporate some options like this where user can enter some of the taller buildings in NightCity, ride up the elevator to the higher decks and see the city from that view... maybe even add a floor with fine dinning where user can take a friend/date/group to the restuarant and eat while enjoying watching the scenery of the nightcity below etc... 2) All major buildings enter-able (is that a word? lol) with at least a ground lobby.... right now most of the buildings are just fake exteriors, nice to look at from the outside but completely fake and empty with no insides... Due to system restrains its not practical to simulate every room of every floor of every building in nightcity with furnished interiors and real windows and all that... but at least make the first floor /lobby area of every large and major building enter-able so that the character can walk in and out of them... for certain buildings you may want to make a working/functional lobby elevator that leads to an underground garage and/or allows the user to ride the elevator to above ground higher floors of the building... or have the elevator only allow certain floors to be accessed and furnish these floors with realistic settings/environment and this can tie in nicely with the job/work/career paths discussed in #ECONOMY section with gives you the office space to put a number of companies in which the user can find and switch jobs and work in corporate paths etc... for example allow the user to customize and decorate his own "office/desk", and if he has a window office, then that would provide another unique view/scenery of nightcity from above ground perspective, one that can only be gotten from working at that particular company/job, and gives him an incentive to work late to see the city from nighttime while burning the midnight oil￼ 3) Multiple apartments, the user should be able to pick and choose from a vast selection and array of living arrangements and this necessities a lot of hotel/condo/apartment options which means these buildings need to have interiors and furnished and environments fully built out...
1) Ability to find and work a job, with multiple career paths and with ability to move up in the corporate world... this provides the user with a stead stream of income for which he can use to buy fancier cars, to move into newer and better apartments /condos etc.. and to buy fancier items like designer cloths and the suches... not to mention to spend on fine dinning in high end restuarants which can tie in nicely with going on datings, impressing women with luxury cars and expensive meals and "date nights out" at elaborate events.... basically there has to be a purpose and meaning to making more money, and the process of making more money has to be derived from a job or work or career of some sort as the main component... Have a real economy with unemployment, inflation, commodity prices, and all of that impact and influence and affect the user in his everyday life... for example if a major terror event or pandemic causes the Nightcity to suffer an economic depression for a few months then its possible the company that the user is working at has to lay off people and he gets canned and has to downsize to a smaller apartment, loses his girlfriend/wife, and then has to find another lower paying job and stuck in the downward cycle for a few years until he is able to win the lottery (#GAMBLING/SPECUTLATION/BETTING) or his luck somehow changes... Everything should cost money, it costs money to rent an apartement and it should also cost money to eat and drink... basically he user has to spend money to eat otherwise he will starve to death... and the user has to keep paying rent every month for whatever apartment he resides otherwise he gets evicted and could even become homeless and have to live in one of those nasty tents in tenty city or under a highway bridge etc etc Grocery stores, restuarants, movie theaters, hotels, and shopping malls... There should be at least a few convinennce stores, shopping malls, restuarants and other retail places spread throughout nightcity, this is a component and element of the economy as well as a means for the user to spend all the hard earned money he worked towards... for example if you give a homeless a few bucks he should be able to use it to spend at a store on the corner to get something to eat and then that makes him happy because he is no longer so hungry... there should be a tie in for economy, money, and the ability to exchange that for goods and services (barber, tatto artists cough cough) and associate these goods and services to emotional feelings of happiness and satisfication for both the user /player and the NPCs...
There should be a distinction between autumn/fall, spring, summer, winter etc... This gives a big cycle sense of passage of time that cannot be simulated with the current day/night cycles along... in the winter the sun should rise and set at different times/angles than the summer... In addition, I'd like to see an accurate night sky map/ stars. NightCity takes place in SoCal, its trivial to map the nightsky for the year 2077 in the SoCal area... even in the latest Flight Simulator 2020 the stars are now accurate at night... Ability to choose LIVE weather based on current user location (see Flight Simulator) so say its raining in Dallas Texas where a user is playing, then in NightCity it will match that and we raining in the game as well... also ability to customize weather on-the-fly in real-time (see Microsoft Flight Simulator 2020) and have that instantly change in the game without reloading... Along with seasons I'd like to be able to see holiday celebrations for example Christmas time espeically... I want to hear holiday music and see buildings decorated with Christmas lights and the jolly spirits of it all... Think the ambiance and environment of say Polar Express, bring that alive to Night City for Xmas...
MINI GAMES and other Microcosm
There is a "Go" board in Chinatown... but its fake... and the players aren't even attempting to play Go... See what Google Deepmind did with AlphaGo, Facebook made an OpenGo that they open sourced... there is also LeelaZero and KataGo free AI engines that have already been trained using deeplearning/machineAI to be far better than the Go masters... the same applies to Chess by the way... but I didn't see a Chess board in Night City yet... in any case all these board games the computer AI can now master... make these games playable in NightCity, so the user can watch two NPC's play a round of Go/Chess/etc (Ai vs Ai) or can join and sit down and take a seat and play against an NPC a real game of Go/Chess, (or in the future if CP gets a multiplayer than humans can play against one another etc) basically a microcosms and games-within-a-game.... Spotify/Netflix/youTube integrations... I'd like to see the user have a portable/personal mp3 player or app on his virtual smartphone that allows him to link to his personal -reallife- spotify account to listen to music while in the game... also on the TV screens at home to be able to watch netflix movies while in this virtual apartment chilling with his date/friends... and things like YouTube integration would be nice... maybe even pornhub integration.... Other simple games like darts, bowling and even toys like RC cars or DJI drones... give the use the ability to fly drones (check out DJI Simulator) or operate rc model cars etc... basically toys that he can buy at electronic stores or corner outlets that he can then use these toys in real life for any variety of enjoyments... this also ties into #ECONOMY and why its important to have a good job /career that pays good money!
Have some form of virtual casinos in the game, NightCity reminds me of Vegas, yet not one slot machine and not one means to gamble or bet? How about the ability to play the stockmarket, bitcoins, and make bets and well as go gambling, cards, poker, etc this not only provides a form of entertainment but also gives the user a way to quickly win / lose a lot of money and for the risk takers they may wish to invest their money in high risk high reward speculative stocks in the stock market instead of immediately spending it on a new apartment, new car, new tech gadget etc etc... this would also tie back to #ECONOMY since the more the user earns the more income he has to spend on gambling/stocks and the better the economy does the higher his stocks return on investment...
Should be able to court any pretty woman on the streets, to walk up to her and say hi and have a path/chance to a dialogue that leads to setting up a first date... and following that if it goes well can progress to more dates and evetnually her moving in with the user and eventually even having a kid, getting married, and the works... each female NPC should have a male preference and a threshold of compatiblity... so that for example if on the first date the guy is cheap and takes her to low end resturant, doesn't have a nice car to pick her up with, and otherwise seems like a low life then she wouldn't process/continue with him... whereas if he is already established with a multimillion apartment, supercar, takes her to most expensive restuarant in NightCity, then I could see her going back to his place on the first date and maybe even getting pregnant right then and there that night etc..."
i'm trying not to make too much of a big deal about it but today i am 365 days sober from alcohol. i would've never thought i would get to this day because it honestly felt like the longest year ever because of the PAWS and the debilitating stomach issues i've gone through because of it. But i vouched to myself a life of sobriety and by god i'm gonna do it. but here's my story if you care to hear it: i hit my rock bottom when i found myself banging at the package store door at 8am every single goddamn day hoping to get a few shots/beers in me so i can get out the nightmarish hangover i was going through day in and day out. i never thought i'd be that person. i would stumble my hungover ass down there every morning with one thought on my mind, alcohol. i would cycle numerous different package stores around town multiple times a day just so they wouldn't think i had a problem, but they're not stupid, they knew. one day i found a bar in my town (one i NEVER went to because it's scummy af in a scummy part of town) that opens at 6am (for breakfast because of the 3rd shifters that work at the factory next door) but the bartenders served alcohol because 90% of the people in my town are alcoholics. that dug me into the worst downward spiral i've ever been in. i'd usually only get 3 hours of sleep a night if i was lucky and i'd wake up at 5am with a nasty hangover and dread having to wait 3 hours for the packy to open, so this bar would be my home for the next 4 months or so, i'd be the first one in the bar at 5:58am and the bartender would have a beer cracked open for me. a beer (bud/bud light) was $1.50 and a shot of well alcohol was $3, so it was pretty easy to get plastered for cheap. i ran down my bank account going barhopping every single day so i would run up tabs and walk out on them, not purposely..(eventually getting sober and going back to settle all of them with complete and utter embarassment) thank god they didn't care too much because i was a local but it made me feel like a horrible human being. the people i'd meet at this place were complete and utter lowlifes...i'd have to hear their stories of how they used to be hot shit, how they were in the mob, (because i live in an italian infused town) how they're high rollers at the local casinos, and i'd be so fucked up, i'd entertain their stories and become buddies with them..they bought me shots/beers and i had no problem at all being buddy buddy with them. i used to bang one of the new bartenders they just hired and she would hook me up on the regular..and i'd have to hear all the guys talk about how hott she was when she walked away, and they'd do anything to get with her. one night me and her went out and got really drunk together and she slept over, we were both naked and about to eff the living shit out of eachother, but i couldn't get hard so i passed out, the next day she decided to fill me in that her recent ex boyfriend gave her a life changing STD, and that right there could've ruined my fucking life if i went through with that sex. i was just living a sad ass existence. eventually something started happening with my body that i was becoming concerned with. not only was i shitting out yellow oily substances 2 minutes after i ate (if and when i ate), but i started feeling very unwell all the time. i just wasn't myself. the alcohol wasn't getting me drunk anymore, it was basically just accumulating in my system and i'd just get extremely messed up hours later. i'd get horrible brain fog and i felt like i was living in an alternate reality where things were just fake as all hell. i felt SO depersonalized. i would drive to the casino and get extremely messed up for free because i'd pretend i was gambling. i was passing out in my car in different parking lots of different casinos and bars. i'd wake up at 3am in my backseat and just be SOOOOO out of it that i'd piss myself and go back to sleep. i would drink my alcohol and throw it up in the bathroom an hour later just so i can keep drinking it took me 4 detox rehab stints in a 4 month span to realize what i was doing to myself. there is nothing worse than waking up with a group of 50+ strangers going through the same nightmare you are in a place where you're literally locked in, being woken up every 2 hours throughout the night, even though you're going through alcoholic insomnia and aren't getting any sleep anyways i left rehab and immediately relapsed each time. i saw this girl at the bar that i used to chill with one night and i went back to her place just to chill and drink more. i spent 7 days at her apartment, she bought 30 racks and i drank at her place while she went to work everyday and when she got out, we'd hit the bars..then go back to her house, and we'd drink some more. and that went on for a week. i didn't change my clothes, i didn't shower, i felt fucking disgusting. one night me and her went to a local bar and got shitfaced. these complete losers came in and sat with us and i got real bad vibes from them. they saw i was feeling down and out so they offered me a bump of cocaine, and i am one of those people who have NEVER touched a hard drug in my life, but i said fuck it and they set me up a line, i ended up denying it in the end because i'm a giant pussy..they all proceeded to do some shrooms and decided we're gonna go to a party. and this party was a banger, and it was 20 miles away in the middle of the woods, they had a live band, and if i wasn't as messed up as i was, it would've been fun af, but it wasnt and i wanted to leave. i spent 4 hours looking for a ride because they were all too tripped out to even function. it was fucking freezing and i walked over 20 miles to her house and it took me a long ass time, literally frozen and drunk, and it was HORRIBLE. that was the night i took my final drink. my last drink. i developed extreme PTSD because of all this shit. that PTSD is what got me to stop. every single damn time i get the urge to drink, i think of what i went through everyday. every time the thought of beer crosses my mind, i get sick to my stomach thinking about that life i was living. i never want to go through that ever again. i'd rather be sober, depressed and miserable than drunk, numb and SICK all the fucking time. i sometimes drive past these bars i would frequent just to watch the regulars sitting outside drinking their $1.50 can of bud looking miserable af. i'm just happy to be this far into my sobriety. 365 fucking days bro. if you read all of this..i appreciate you taking the time to read my story. i know it went on and on but that's how i got from where i was to where i am now. i got a nice built up bank account, i got a beautiful puppy that i love to death, my mother told me yesterday that she's proud of me and i proved her wrong, those words were enough to make it all worth it, because i put her through hell and back i've finally decided it's time i start dating again..i took that year for myself but i think i'm ready to find 'the one' but i appreciate all of you. we're all in this together. one sober community. and i hope all of you get to where you wanna be at. thanks for listening
My ex and his new supply, sort of a vent *trigger warning* sexual abuse *
I apologize for the back story, it may be too much but I believe it helps to explain why I felt the need to warn the new supply. Long story short: the new supply does not want to hear your side of things, they have already chosen their side. I had been with my abusive (physically, verbally, and financially) ex for over 2 years throughout the beggining of our adulthood. Our relationship was absolute hell for most of it. He moved in with me suddenly and then things got terrible, fast. He is addicted to weed, cigarettes and gambling. He never paid rent, and he took out every possible payday loan he could find in the city in hopes of winning big at the casino. He even pawned off his ps4 for some cash. Anyways, along with all this came verbal abuse, gaslighting, and eventually physical abuse. I remember times where he choked me wo hard I felt myself beginning to pass out. He gave me nasty bite marks, bruised my head (on accident, allegedly). Oh and I forgot to mention that he pretty much sexually abused me to.. I would wake up to having him inserting himself in me without any sort of warning.... Everything was just absolutely horrible. I managed to get out. I put all his crap outside and left it at that. But, he decided to break into my house in a furious fit (He cracked my front door and ended up squeezing through a small bathroom window that could not be locked). I called the police as I was terrified. Police came and talked to both of us, and we both told the cops similar stories with the inclusion of a "fight" we had earlier. During this "fight" my ex picked me up, threw me onto the bed and screamed in my face. Fortunately for me, he told the cops these same details and was immediately arrested for assault. This literally saved my life. Fastforward, I have a new man, hes got a new woman. I know her though, I know she has been through some pretty crappy things (ex constantly cheating on her). I tried to warn her by showing her the subpoena of his assault charge. She then goes on a tangent, telling me how pathetic I am for craving this negative attention... How apparently I am not over my ex. I just don't understand how she could be so quick to judge me so harshly. She didnt want to hear a word about what the subpoena with her boyfriends name on it was for... I really don't know how a university student could be so silly. Maybe he has changed, but wouldnt she want to hear my story? He must have lied to her about most of it. I know I shouldnt have warned her, but i really could not believe how harsh she was to me, especially after her own terrible relationsip. I wish the best for them, but I know deep down she will be suffering at his hands eventually. I wonder if I will ever get a message from her saying that she should of listened to me... haha yeah no but its nice to dream. If you got this far, thank you for reading a long rant about my relationship. Writing this into the abyss of reddit is calming, I hope I wasnt too hard to follow.
My Step Father inherited over one million dollars last year. He just shot himself two nights ago.
I've never made a post venting about my personal life unless you count my contribution to the constipation sub-reddit. But this group seems to strike a personal chord . So some background info: I'm the middle child in my family. My mom gave birth to my sister in 89 , and to me in 93. We both had different fathers, and we both never met our fathers. When i was about 9-10 my mom met someone when she was bartending who then became my step-father. shortly after my mom gave birth to my little sister, Mikayla. Jay ( step dad ) Was always cool and i loved having him as a step dad. He was funny as heck and his other kids ( My step brother and sister ) would come sleep over our house every other weekend and we would all have so much fun. My step-brother and step-sister lived in the inner city and were primarily raised by their birth mom who i never really met. Jay hated her and it seemed like they didnt get along any more and that was fine. I would hear how she would say nasty things about Jay and my mom but it never really affected me. when my step siblings started to grow into their teens they got into drugs and crime. So my mother who doesnt see the good in people convinced our side of the family to cut ties with out step-siblings because she didnt want drugs in her house. We never really saw our step siblings again. To this day, the last time i spoke with Jay i brought up my step brother and he even told me not to tell my step brother anything about him or my mom ( this will make more sense in a minute. ) My step dad had a drinking problem when i was really young. It never affected me and i never saw him do anything violent or hurt my mom or anyone. I remember when i was in the car with him sometimes, he would be drinking beers while driving us. That was the worse of it from what i ever saw. My mother drank a lot too. When i was in middle school they both stopped drinking all together. They made it look easy. But my mom was verbally abusive and manipulative saying that because of how we act she would run away and never come back or kill herself when no one was home. These are things she would say all the time, even when i was little and thought she meant it. They would fight and argue slightly more than your average family. I later found out that my step dad had a addiction to painkillers. since my mother never really tells me any details when it comes to personal things like that i never really knew how bad it was. All i know is that he went into detox and that was it. Never talked about it, never got to say how proud i was that he was sober and how important that is, because i never knew at the time. I only knew after i went to rehab myself for opiates. Anyways to speed things up, my step-grandmother was wealthy. She had a great job when she was younger and knew how to handle money and invest. She also loved to drink and 2 years ago she started getting sick and turns out she had cirrhosis of the liver. We all stayed with her while she laid in bed slowly dying. I found out that my mom was looking up ways to " Speed up the dying process " and searched up " songs to die to " on her ipad and they would administer the morphine to my step-grandma. She passed shortly after. So now my lower middle class family is about to receive over a million dollars in bonds and stocks and all that. Part of me always felt that thats all they really cared about. Taking a step back, My Step-father and my mom loved to gamble. They were without a doubt gambling addicts. They never lost the car or wernt able to pay the bills, but they would spend thousands of dollars at the casino and when i would go with my mom, it would mke me sad to see her win 1,000 dollars then be at 5.00 spinning a nickel at a time. She would never walk out with any money. Sometimes she wouldnt even have enough money to pay for the tolls or put gas in her car. Sometimes she would run away to erie PA , spend all of her money at the casino , and be stuck there until someone wired her money to get home. What do they do after they get the money? Move to LAS VEGAS. Myself, my sister, and other family members expressed our concerns because clearly it was a terrible idea. But she assured us that she doesnt really gamble anymore and she just loves the area. ( they started taking vacations to vegas as a little family a few years prior. My mom/Step Dad/little sister ) So Jay ( step dad) Got a job a the water treatment center in Las Vegas because thats what he did here. They left everything in their old house and my sister moved into that house. And they went to look at houses for two weeks in vegas before they officially moved. And my little sister told me they spent the whole 2 weeks at the casinos and on the last day they bought the first townhouse they looked at... 5 months goes by and my little sister want to move back to Buffalo. She tells me all they do is fight and now my step dad is drinking again. its been over 14 years since he last drank to my knowledge. He quit his job at the water treatment center and now they all stay at home all day and get blackout drunk. My mom started drinking again too. They would spend thousands and thousands at the casinos. They bought nice new cars, a harley, a old VW travel van, and a 9mm pistol. During this time it never really bothered me that they never gave me or my sister any of the money because money isnt that important to me, but it is important. And we just had our first child a year before. So it kind of hurt to hear thats how they are spending their money, when me and my sister are both starting families and cant even afford basic things. My little sister has 80,000 dollars for when she turns 25 that my step grandma left in her will. We got nothing. And it also hurt that my mom and jay were OK with only one of us getting that much money. I try not to be resentful at my little sister for that because i know its not her fault. My older sister has tried multiple times to try and get at that money. When my little sister wanted to come home, my older sister took her in. My older sister is a terrible human and i can make a whole book about all the fucked up shit shes done. She only cares about money so she saw an opportunity by taking my little sis in. So now its just my mom and Jay out in vegas. No Job, drinking every day, burning tens of thousands at casinos. My Grandma has a stroke. My mom comes home to help take care of my grandma. Jay calls my little sister crying about his life and how he wishes he was there and how much he loves our grandma that is sick. He also wired her 800 dollars to send him acid in the mail. He rents a car a week later and drives back home to buffalo. We would all go over there and would have fun and then all of the sudden he just leaves. he says he needs to get home to feed the cat and is afraid of covid lockdowns. My older sister told me that he texted her when he was still here asking for pain pills. She didnt know where to get any so im assuming he was getting sick and wanted to get back home. So he left after being there for a little over a week. Thats the last time i will ever see him. last night my mom tells me that she saw Jay get on a party bus in front of the house on the house camera. She calls him out over text i think and he doesnt respond. instead, he shut all the cameras off on the house. i asked if anyone has checked up on him because he could be dead. I apologized after i said that because it was a bit morbid but this was right after i found out he was back on opiates. My mom calls for a wellness check and the police found him dead at the house with a self inflicted gunshot wound. He shot himself. Im assuming he was drunk and on pills, i dont know how pre-meditated this all was. But im broken and sad. I fear for my little sister because that was her biological father andi know how much they loved each other. My mother and Older sister Are experts at manipulating and when they argue, they use very personal things to try and cut deep to try and hurt you as much as they can. I will always wonder what exactly my mom said to Jay the night she saw him enter the limo Bus. Could it have been something she said to trigger this reaction? If he was as drunk as he was would he have handled it differently? I tried talking to my older sister about it ( I do not talk to my sister often. She has done some many things to hurt me that i will never ever ever trust her again, and part of me will always hate her sadly.) But she is only concerned about the money as well. She is going on how Mom isnt going to give us any of the money or help us in any way , although true, It just hurts me that they care so much about money that they are willing to put it infront of family. My little sister hates that she has 80,000 coming to her and shes told me time and time again she wish she didnt have it. My sister has already tried to manipulate mikayla into splitting her inheritance. The Thing that gets me livid is whats happening now. So after we found out we all went over the see my mom. We felt terrible and we brought her grandaughter over the cheer her up and be there for her. We talked outside ( me,little sister, girlfriend ) about going with mom with help clean up the house because they dont clean that shit up. So today i talked to my mom and said " hey we are going with you to help clean the house because you cant do that alone." And she refuses. Like, insists that she can do it herself. She HAS to do it herself. She will not let us go with her. and shes leaving tomorrow. She was taking care of my dying grandma and now we dont know what to do about my grandma. Shes going to go back to the house herself, clean it up, and she said she DEF has to "sage" the house.... I cant help but get angry because she just cares about the money. She wants to be able to go to the casino without Jay making her feel bad for asking him for his money all the time. She wants to just sit in the guilt and feel sorry for herself and she wont let us help her. She has nothing in vegas anymore and she still wont come home. Shes going to burn whatevers rest of that money, sell all of his cars, burn that money, get depressed when its all gone and shell have nothing. we will continue to struggle with our finances while she gives the rest of that money to the casinos. She got mad at me for telling my step brother that his dad died because she.s afraid his family will try to come after the money. I wish they never got that stupid fucking money. It ruined our family and my step dad would still be here if they never got that money and i really believe that. Sorry if this is worded poorly and is not in a comprehensive order or whatever. I just wanted to vent and it felt good to type it all out. The only activity that pulls me away from this stuff is streaming games and goofing off but i dont even feel like doing that right now.... idk. money sucks. actually , getting a large sum of money when youve been poor most of your life sucks.
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